It’s important to repeat your boundaries because people need to hear a piece of information many times in order to internalize it and make necessary adjustments. Tawwab argues that restating your boundaries is just as important as initially communicating them. Specifically, Tawwab recommends that you restate your boundaries so that others know you’re serious, and set consequences for boundary violations. The final step in the process of setting boundaries is reinforcing your boundaries through action. It will naturally take some time for you to break from habits, and accepting this can help keep you from becoming discouraged and unmotivated.) Step 3: Take Action to Reinforce Your Boundaries Like anyone else, you’ll struggle and make mistakes as you adjust to new boundaries.
(Shortform note: In addition to exercising discipline, you should also treat yourself compassionately as you learn to set boundaries with yourself. By setting a boundary with yourself to avoid looking at your phone until your assignment is finished, you’ll be able to work free from distractions. For example, imagine trying to finish a key work assignment while your family group chat is in the middle of a heated argument. Setting boundaries with yourself involves exercising the discipline to be able to say no to yourself. This leads to a virtuous cycle, where the less you focus on materialistic concerns, the better you feel about yourself, and vice versa.) And, as a result of the choice to spend more responsibly, you’re likely to feel better about yourself. These experts argue that by placing limits on your spending, you make a conscious choice to value your own happiness over the pursuit of material possessions. (Shortform note: Some experts believe that setting financial boundaries for yourself can help affirm your self-worth. Tawwab notes that by setting boundaries with yourself in areas such as finance, social media usage, and time management, you can break free from bad habits and begin forming new ones. In addition to helping you relate better to others, setting boundaries can also be a useful tool for self-improvement. By taking time to rest after difficult conversations, you ensure that you’ll be your sharpest self for any follow-up conversations or future boundary-setting decisions.) Set Boundaries With Yourself (Shortform note: In addition to the emotional benefits of rest, taking adequate time to de-stress has been shown to improve decision-making and general cognitive functioning. Taking time to eat a comforting meal, read a book, or chat with a friend are all things that can help you decompress after setting boundaries. It’s important to give yourself a break after setting boundaries because communicating boundaries can be difficult and uncomfortable, especially if you’re new to it. Tawwab recommends that you take time to rest and let difficult emotions settle after communicating boundaries.
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